i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
