I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
