i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
