so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
