he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
