think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want to make a zoo with you.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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