I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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