i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
