The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
