so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
