Jerry, you need to find god
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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