my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
why do cheetos always look like penises
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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