Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
