It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
