Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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