Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
