I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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