omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
