A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
