She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
