i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
