At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
