We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
