your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
