the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
