remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
