Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
