listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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