i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
