i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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