Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
