her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
