that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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