then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
