Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she peed on how many people?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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