Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
