i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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