It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
