Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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