My first STD was from a foam party
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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