No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
