it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
