just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
