I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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