I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
