I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
they're like a gay fantastic four
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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