you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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