So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
