I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
