Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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