susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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