i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
