I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
