the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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