Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
