I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
