you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
