Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
