and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
