Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
