I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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