Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
