Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize