You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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