Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
