fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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