why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
