I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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