I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
