I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish my penis had an off switch
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
