dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
