k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How's work?
Spinning.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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